Wondering

I have been agonizing over whether to have Owen evaluated for PDD. Deep down, I really believe he has something going on, I just don’t know if I can handle another case of PDD in this house right now. I am still reeling from Reed’s diagnosis (if you can call it that). And then I read over at Kristin’s place about how diagnosis brought their world crashing down. And I just don’t think I can handle that right now.

And yet, I know that early intervention is the key when dealing with kids with ASD. And I so want to help Owen. He seems so frustrated, especially lately.

The speech therapy seems to be helping. I’m really amazed that in such a short time (he’s only been there 3 times so far), he’s already imitating speech, trying new words, and babbling interactively. But he still doesn’t talk. He still communicates by pointing, and plotting to take over the world throwing a tantrum when we don’t understand.

He rarely responds to his name, and that’s usually only after shouting it at him repeatedly. I can’t tell if it’s his name he’s looking up for, or just his crazy mom shouting at him while he’s busy.

He is super sensitive to texture, and has recently adopted hand sanitizer as his new favorite invention ever. He wants to sanitize his hands every 30 seconds or so throughout the day, and gets irate if I don’t allow it. He won’t eat food if he doesn’t approve of it’s texture (and rarely does), and sometimes rejects foods on sight (or smell, I can’t tell which), without ever touching them at all.

He will only allow socks on his feet if they have shoes over them. He loves his shoes. Worships the shoes, but once they come off, the socks are franticly tugged at until they either come off, or he falls and hurts himself with the effort.

He carries things in pairs. We used to joke about needing “one for each hand” until it became redundant. Then I began to wonder.

There are lots of little things that on their own, are just little things. But once you get enough little things gathered together, you start to wonder. And wonder. And obsess wonder.

And so I wonder. He’s been making such great progress with his speech this month, that I’ve decided to put off asking for the evaluation for at least a few more weeks. And yet, I wonder if I’ll be blogging about this again at this time next year…

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