Denial, exit stage left

You know, I’ve secretly been in denial about this whole autism thing all along. Go figure. I was in denial about being in denial. I thought I was okay with the autism diagnosis, and I guess I still am. What I was in denial about was what that will mean for Reed. I thought, “He’ll be fine, he’s a brilliant kid. He has a few behavior problems, but nothing he can’t manage.
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I had a reality check this afternoon. I got to go into OT with Reed this week (I can watch anytime I like, but can’t bring Owen along, which means that I don’t get to go in often). I suddenly saw very clearly that he is Autistic. With a capitol A. He is so uncoordinated. Poor kid got beaned in the face with the basketball more times than he caught it. He couldn’t make a basket in the kid’s hoop just 18 inches from his face. He tripped 3 times just going down the hall to the therapy office.

We’re also starting to see more and more ASD-related behaviors. I’ve started to find lines of toys everywhere I look. 2 weeks ago, there was a head-banging incident at school. He got over-stimulated in gym class and started beating his head against the cinderblock wall of the gymnasium.
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But it’s not all bad. He’s making great progress, and continues to amaze teachers and doctors. I’m finding my place among the autism community, and my denial is fading. Act 2 anyone?


1 Comment

  1. April 21, 2006 at 6:44 pm

    Those realizations always come as a wake up call to reality for me. It gives me a chance to stop, reflect, smile at the wonderful progress Gabe has made and focus on how to best be there for him. For me, the stimming is what really brings me back to reality. It’s one of the only outward signs that Gabe shows me that he follows the beat to a different drum. But, a big “WOW!” about how well Reed is doing :o)

    Has Reed ever showed signs of head banging before? I always wonder if Gabe, when overwhelmed, will do that when he gets older.


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